Unedited – Subject to change
1 | Freddie
There was jello in my bra
I wasn’t sure how it had gotten there. Wasn’t sure of anything that had transpired over the last few hours as I stumbled over discarded Solo cups and beer bottles to get to the stairs.
Where I fell.
On my face.
Little by little I dragged my way up the carpeted steps.
My head was spinning.
About to explode as I tried to piece together the previous night’s events. I vaguely recalled a kiddie pool. A fireman. Midget clowns?
No that was a dream.
When I made it to the second floor, I used all my strength to slide up the wall until I was standing.
Okay. Hard part’s over. Now I just had to make it to my room.
Before I could move, a door swung open. The bathroom. And out stepped a fireman.
Well half a fireman.
A half dressed fireman.
I wavered on my feet a bit.
He smiled at me.
And I threw up on his feet.
2 | August
You have got to be fucking kidding me.
This damn girl. Had to give her credit though, she sure did leave an impression.
I fought to keep the contents of my own stomach where they belonged as I back into the bathroom and moved carefully across the floor until I reached the tub. There I turned on the hot water and stepped inside.
Was I grossed out? Hell yes. But probably not as much as I should’ve been. Why? Two words:
After sanitizing my feet in the hottest water I could stand, I went back into the hall – stepping over her sick – and found her crawling toward the bedroom door, the very same thong she’d flashed me last night on full display.
I cleared my throat and she jerked around then plopped down on her butt, pulling her micro mini skirt over her smooth, and very soft thighs.
“Party’s over. Go home.”
I quirked a brow at her and leaned on the wall with my arms crossed. “Sorry shorty, but this is my house.”
“What? No.” Her dark eyes – which came across as innocent – lies – darted around the hall. “…Are you sure?
“Just moved in a day ago, but yeah, I’m positive. The little party you and your friends crashed last night? That was my house warming.”
“Yeah. Thanks for the keg though.”
She bit the side of her bottom lip, which was smeared with lipstick – partly my fault – that matched her panties and looked up at me with those eyes. They raked over me, same as they had when I’d first answered the door.
“Are you a real fireman?”
At that I chuckled. “ No.”
“Then what’s with the…”
“Old Halloween costume”
“And you’re wearing it because…”
“You saw it in my room, said it was sexy, and asked me to put it on.”
Her brow lifted this time. “And you did it?
“Have you seen you? Of course I did it.”
“And did we…”
“Have sex? No. You were drunk out of your mind. The only sex I have is consensual.”
She brushed some of her now wild curls away from her honey brown face – also the picture of innocence.
“So um…I should probably go, huh?”
“You ain’t gotta go home, but…”
She giggled while using the closet door handle to get to her feet. “Get the hell out? Got it.”
When she looked like she’d fall, I reached out to steady her. “Maybe you should lose the heels.”
She looked down at her shoes, also hot pink, then used my shoulder to balance herself while she too them off. That removed five inches from her height, putting her at the center of my chest.
I walked her down stairs and to the door. Mostly so she wouldn’t bust her ass. But also because I was a gentleman and shit.
On the porch, she spun once, taking in her surroundings.
“Do you need me to call a cab?”
She jumped like she’d forgotten I was there. “No, I should be okay. I live close.”
“Oh, okay then.” I started to ask for her number but since she didn’t even remember anything that went down last night, I doubted she’d give it to me. “Well, I guess I’ll see you around then.”
She offered a little wave then turned to leave. A half second later she faced me again. “Uh…there was jello…in my bra. Any idea how that happened?”
A sly smile crept over my face as I took a step back. “I’m sure it’ll come to you.”
With that I closed the door. Would probably never see her again. But like I said. She’d made one hell of an impression.